Let’s Talk About Names.
And why we shouldn’t disrespect them.
Precious.
My name, Apuroopa, means precious. It serves as a reminder of the precious childhood that my grandmother gave to my mom. It signifies the unconditional love and strong bond they both share because of my mom’s valuable adolescent years, which was living like a princess every day.
Let’s jump back to my seventh-grade life for a bit. I was the person who’d stand up for others and myself when something unjust was going on. I tried to look for the good in everything and was usually not that sensitive. But then, 3 months into the year in one of my classes, there was a group of people who had absolutely no respect for other people and their backgrounds. And given how easy it was to turn my name into something harmful and negative, I was their go-to choice for doing just that.
For the first part, I didn’t care much. I just moved on with my life because I knew that if I reacted, then I would provoke them into continuing. But then, they didn’t stop — I would be called different names in class, during lunch, during passing, after school, before school, etc. I knew I needed to assert myself, to put my foot down and say stop, but I didn’t.
Most days of the school week, I cried at least once, and no matter how hard I tried, I just couldn’t stop. I was more angered than upset — nobody should be disrespecting my mom and her roots. Of course, people didn’t know the significance, but that doesn’t give them the right to change it up however they please.
The biggest defeat I faced in those situations was that I couldn’t stand up for myself as I’m usually one to do so. But this just hit at a different level. And no matter how hard I tried, the boys just didn’t stop, even after the teacher told them. So I just kept suffering and suffering, a little part of my soul chipping away every day.
When the guys who were doing it finally realized how much they had hurt me, they didn’t apologize. They didn’t even seem shocked. They just said, “it was just a joke.”
And I replied saying, “does knowing that I went through so much still make you think that it was ‘just a joke’?”
“Well, we didn’t mean to make you feel bad, ok?”
No, not ok. Completely wrong and inaccurate. But I just walked away.
Looking back, I wish I hadn’t left the conversation. If I put my foot down and told them that it is not ok and not justified to do this to someone, perhaps I could have stopped all their future attempts at doing so. Perhaps I could have stopped someone else from suffering as I did. But I couldn’t, so I didn’t.
Most people’s names have some sort of backstory to them, making them just as important and cherishable as a friendship bracelet or an autographed t-shirt. If we’re giving so much value to these things, shouldn’t we be giving just as much importance (if not more) to names?
When names are made fun of, the story behind them is being disrespected as well — and all of a sudden, it’s not ok to tease it anymore. But it shouldn’t even be happening in the first place.
Names make us who we are. They have stories. They can be reminders of lives lost or given for the greater good. They can be memories of a grandfather who passed away from cancer or a precious childhood. Respect and cherish them, whether it’s your name or not.
And, even better, if you have some extra time on your hands, find out what someone’s name means and see where the conversation goes. I can almost guarantee that the discussion will leave you with something to think about or a lesson learned.
“Remember that a person’s name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language.”
— Dale Carnegie
Thanks for reading! Until next time, stay safe, happy, and healthy.
