What Is Happiness?
It’s an inside job.
In a recent meeting with some classmates, someone asked the group,
“What makes you happy?”
For a while, a lot of us were stumped— we never thought about that question before so we didn’t know what our happiness charm was. Slowly, some of us replied: family and friends, ice cream (that was me), video games, and others like the former.
I started to notice a pattern. None of the things we said were permanent, meaning our happiness wasn’t either. I wondered why that was. Why is it that we gain our happiness from materialistic sources that we don’t even have a permanent bond with?
Every individual has their ups and downs, but they won’t always have video games or their family and friends to rely on. In the end, the only permanent bond we have is with ourselves. Because we make our own decisions. Because we fight for our own causes and what we believe in. Because this is our life and we’re pretty much the only ones in control.
Let’s think about it like this: say a high schooler decides not to do homework for a couple of weeks because they want to spend time playing video games. So, just by not keeping up with the homework, that person increased the amount of homework they have for the next few weeks and decreased the amount of trust their teachers and parents have in them. (They also could have fallen behind on projects or may not have studied for big tests).
Notice what happened here — that one decision started a vicious cycle for the person. It went from being able to play video games every day after completing homework to not playing at all for the following weeks because of one choice. And if video games make them happy, does that mean that the next few weeks they aren’t happy?
Happiness and Materialistic Items
Let’s ask this question: can we buy happiness?
Some might say yes because we can become happy from the things we buy, and thus buy happiness.
Really? What about when that thing breaks or we get bored of it or if we finish using it (like if it’s food)? Would we just go and buy it again? Then what about the money factor? What about those moments where we need to save every penny? Can we buy happiness then?
This brings to mind a term called the hedonic treadmill:
“The hedonic treadmill is the idea that an individual’s level of happiness, after rising or falling in response to positive or negative life events, ultimately tends to move back toward where it was prior to these experiences.”
Although we may think that small things like these can make us happy, in the long-term, it doesn’t really make a difference. So what will we do then?
Happiness is an inside job.
Guess what? There is one thing that everyone in this world is in control of, themselves. At times it may not seem like it, but in the end, you are the only one in control. You decide what happens to you. You are your boss. What you did impacts who you are. What you do impacts who you become.
Given all this, you’re also the boss of what makes you happy. Whether it still is video games or ice cream (which will always be something for me), we must remember that depending on materialistic sources for happiness isn’t what we think it is. It’s not the actual objects that bring us that happiness — it’s the memories we make and experiences we get out of it.
I’m happy when I take pictures with my family and friends and making memories, but I don’t get happiness from the pictures. I get happiness from the story behind the picture. I’m happy when I go to get ice cream with my mom, but I don’t get happiness from the actual ice cream. I get happiness from that experience, the joy that I have when I’m eating it, and especially when it is with someone else.
The experiences we have, the failures we face, the successes we celebrate, and the decisions we make are all a part of who we are and how happy or not happy we are. Because we decide all of the former — the experiences we have are based on the decisions we make and the decisions we make can either lead us to failure or let us celebrate success. Depending on how we see it, both failure and success can bring us happiness because we learn from our failures and celebrate our successes.
Either way,
“Happiness is not something that happens to you. It is something you choose or don’t choose each and every moment. Today, choose to be aware of what you are attaching your happiness to, and consciously limit the thoughts about what you believe you need externally to be happy.” (Dr. Margaret Paul)
So, now ask yourself the question: what makes me happy? And give it some thought before officially answering.
Everything is interconnected. Be your own boss and do what you think is right, but don’t forget:
Happiness is an inside job. -Sylvia Boorstein
Thanks for reading! Until next time, stay safe, happy, and healthy.
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